I just knew I would get attention with a headline like that. I heard some sort of semi-famous, skinny, 40-something, glamorous personal trainer say this on a tv show the other day. And I became immediately annoyed. Yes that’s right – ANNOYED! I mean really? She hasn’t met enough people wanting to lose weight to work out what is really going on? I just felt she was incredibly naïve, ignorant, uninformed and clearly not listening nor taking notice of her clients. A little shameful. Do overweight people find it harder to exercise than those that are not – of course. Do overweight people find it more challenging to spend the extra time to cook a nutritious meal, probably. Does that make them lazy? Absolutely not.
If you read my blog post about wellness a few days ago I made mention of mind over matter when it comes to health in general – and weight loss is no exception. I have been conducting classes and working one-on-one with folks for some time now and I wanted to elaborate on what I touched on in that blog post about wellness with respect to what is going on in the mind and how it can powerfully affect the body. This is something I have seen over and over again and as much as I hate to admit to it, watching Channel 10’s “The Biggest Loser” I’ve seen it happen with all of the contestants there too. So what is this common denominator that if it is handled adequately, weight loss becomes so much simpler?
The first and most important thing one absolutely must come to grips with is why they started eating more and perhaps more of the wrong stuff in the first instance. Let’s face it, it’s generally comfort food that puts on those extra kilos doesn’t it? And what do I mean by ‘comfort food’ exactly? It’s those snacks, the fried food, the sweet food that gives us that little high. And we eat this stuff to make us feel better. We eat it to make us feel better because there is something not making us feel good to begin with. Let’s face it, life happens doesn’t it? And we all deal with it in very, very different ways. Some of us have learned how to channel the bad into good and cope in a very healthy way. But most of us are human and when bad stuff happens to us, we don’t deal with it well. We generally turn to something. Some turn to drugs and alcohol or other addictions and some turn merely to food. Why do you think the trainers in “The Biggest Loser” house work the contestants so hard straight out of the gates? It’s to face those demons – whatever they are – head on. Move them into a place of confronting whatever it was that got them into the situation of locking themselves away and eating away their miseries.
I always coach that awareness is ALWAYS half the battle. When you realize what is causing something, then it makes the path to repair so much simpler and easier. When you take people outside of their comfort zones – ie their homes and away from their family and friends – they are in effect stripped bare. There’s nothing nor anywhere to hide. Their insecurities will come to the forefront – it’s just a matter of time. Now I’m not suggesting that anyone who wants to lose weight needs to run away to a 3 month bootcamp with Commando (although I probably wouldn’t say no to that – lol), but step number 1 in weight loss is to really become acquainted with the cause or the reason as to why the eating has begun.
Sad to say I have had to let some clients go in the past because they were just too ingrained in denial. I had one client who was without a doubt an alcoholic – she was drinking several bottles of wines, a bottle of rum, several beers and a bottle of champagne every single week and failed to see what the problem was. When I asked her why she was drinking that much her reply was “that’s not much – that’s nothing. I’ve cut back hugely.” A definite worry. Her drinking was merely a mask for something else going on and she was just completely unwilling to face it. She didn’t make the connection between the alcohol she was consuming and her failure to lose weight. I ended up politely explaining that until she could move into a place of not being in denial and allow someone to help her, the weight will remain. Sometimes you have to be brutal, but truthful.
Confronting one’s demons is never an easy exercise, but seriously, what is the alternative? Eat yourself into an early grave? Diabetes, heart disease, unable to walk, unable to play with your kids, cutting your life short? What is more important here – your ego or your life? Like I said before, we all like comfort and we all strive for it don’t we on a fairly consistent basis. Why else do we buy jet skis and dirt bikes and boats and caravans etc. We want pleasure and comfort and fun. And for many that comes from food and once you are trapped in the spiral of craving it, it becomes incredibly difficult to break without the support of someone externally.
So if you are noticing someone close to you whose waistline is expanding rapidly, don’t wait until they balloon out to 150kg and they need lap band surgery – ask them if they are okay. Is there anything bothering them? Has something happened to upset them? Ask them if they need an ear to just listen to them? Because overweight or obese people are far from lazy or apathetic – in fact quite the opposite. They are quite literally screaming out for help and the best thing you can do as someone close to them is to notice and talk to them. I’ve found that more often than not it’s when I listen to my clients more so than advising them on what to eat, how much exercise to do, setting themselves a goal etc etc etc, is just listening to what is going on with their lives and allowing them to see for themselves the reasons for their comfort eating and lack of movement. It can quite literally save a life.
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